Okay. I’ll go ahead and say it. I don’t believe in girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.
Let me first clarify that this is my personal conviction. I developed this stand as I grew up, experience and learn things and grow in my relationship with Christ. You will not find this in the Bible. Again, this is my personal conviction.
The reason why I don’t believe in girlfriend-boyfriend relationship is that I think it’s pointless. I don’t see the purpose of being exclusive with someone without marriage for months and years except going through unnecessary pain and not guarding your purity. As Joshua Harris pointed out in his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, “If you’re not ready to consider marriage or you’re not truly interested in marrying a specific person, it’s selfish and potentially harmful to encourage that person to need you or ask him or her to gratify you emotionally or physically.”
Some would say that the purpose is to get to know each other better, to see if he or she is a potential partner in life. But, can’t you get to know someone when you are friends? What if he/she is not a potential partner? You will break up. You will just cause yourself and the other person unnecessary pain.
But what I believe in is Marriage. It seems ridiculous but if ever God would bless me with someone, I don’t want to go through the bf/gf phase but straight to engagement. I talked to a Pastor when I attended a leadership retreat and he shared to me his road map to marriage.
Before a man tells me that he loves me, there is a checklist:
- He must be a Christian. I am a follower of Christ and I want my future husband (if God wills me to marry) to be one.
- He must be sure that it is God’s Will. If it’s not God’s will, then it will never work out.
- His parents must agree with His decision. Honoring your parents is one of God’s commands and if I will marry someone, I want his parents to love me.
- He must be ready to marry me the next day. Again, what’s the point of him telling me he loves me if his goal is not to marry me? In Elisabeth Elliot’s Passion and Purity she quoted, “My father counseled his four sons never to say “I love you” to a woman until they were ready to follow immediately with “Will you marry me”
I want to obey God in pursuing Purity and I think that being in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship would compromise that. Protecting myself and surrendering my life to God and His timetable is my priority. I may never marry, as long as it is God’s Will, I am sure it’s for the best. You may not agree with me and that’s okay, this is my personal conviction anyway.