There are these rare moments (a lot of them) that I feel pressured because of my age. It’ll only be a month before I turn 23 and I just got to thinking of the time when I was in high school and when I thought that I would be achieving so much by 23 years old. But changes happened. Situations changed. Plans changed. I changed. And now, I am a young adult, feeling a lot pressure and bearing so much weight on my shoulders. And sometimes a twinge of regret and failure creeps in too. There are a lot things a 20-something is supposed to do and I’m not doing them now.
But God really do have endless grace.
This world has been all about fulfilling your dreams and finding who you are that I sometimes get lost in all the things I have to do and achieve. But during these moments, God graciously pulls me back and reminds me of Paul and what he said in Phil. 3:8:
Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.
Paul was, in the world’s standard, “a successful man” but no, he considered everything “rubbish” and lose everything just to have Christ — Paul found his fulfillment when he found his identity in Christ. He reminded me that I have already surrendered my life to Him and situations may be out of my control but He is in control. I am not of the world now but of God’s and God has a different standard in being successful and great. I was reminded that I should not measure myself according to the world’s standards, that I need only look at Christ to define me and to define success.
Being in my 20s, there are things I thought I should be doing now but no, instead of pursuing what the world deems I should be doing, God reminded me that what I should be doing is pursuing Him. And when I let myself be consumed and swallowed by Him, and lay down everything for Him, my life would be glorifying to Him, and in the end that is what truly matters— to lose my life for His sake. “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it” (Luke. 9:24).
He is the vine and I am a mere branch— and without Him, what can a lowly branch do? (see John 15:5)