There’re only a few days left before we say goodbye to 2016 and when things come to an end, I always like to look back and just remember all the things that happened. So that’s what I’m going to do.
As 2016 comes to a close, I’d like to share with you what this year was for me.
A Year of Growth
This year was definitely full of spankings from the Lord. He revealed to me areas of my life that need to be worked on like my patience, my humility and my understanding of people. I learned to be patient with myself. There are things that I can get through easily but there are things that would take me time to get through. I learned to be humble especially when it comes to dealing with corrections and criticisms and I also learn to be more considerate of other people’s feelings more.
This year, God also made me see how I am not being intentional in guarding my heart. He showed me that guarding one’s heart is much more than not pursuing a relationship. It is surrendering to God and giving Him your heart. When you give your heart to God, He fills it and guards it Himself.
This was also the year that I have truly grasped what Solomon meant when he said everything is meaningless. It was such an eye-opener to truly realize that without God, everything would be meaningless. When he said everything, he meant everything.
A Year of Adulting
This year marked my first year of working as an adult. I learned to pay the bills, I started paying my taxes and helping out my family. It was definitely a learning experience for me especially regarding handling my own money.
I also turned 23 this year. I don’t know what it is with this number but I felt old. I felt pressured with my age – with how I am not doing the things I am supposed to be doing, how I am not achieving the things I am supposed to be achieving, how I am not pursuing the things I thought I am supposed to be pursuing. I felt so down being 23 years old. But praise God for King Solomon, praise God for Ecclesiastes. I realized that I am not “losing ” in life because life has never been a race. It is not about being ahead or being on top. True life is the one with God and I praise Him for making me see that amidst all the things I see and read.
A Year of Fangirling
This year was a good year of reading and watching korean dramas for me. I read so many good books and watched many amazing kdramas. I found a way of watching and reading without it taking over my life and schedule so truly praise God.
A Year of Embracing Change
I am the type who likes change but there are some things that I have a hard time adjusting to when they change. Some of the changes I experience this year were not being a student anymore, my sisters growing up and changing on their own and also having a job.
And one of the big changes I had this year was having a new dgroup leader. My former leader was my leader since I was 16 years old and it was truly painful and difficult having to part from her. It was tough for me to develop a relationship and opening to my new leader but in time, it improved. I am happy with our relationship now and I am looking forward to years of growth with her.
The people I spend time with also changed. I developed new relationships with people and found amazing friendships as well.
And finally, A Year of Heartbreaks and Letting Go’s
Letting go is never easy. There were many things I had to let go this year: my dreams, hobbies like booktube-ing and relationships.
It was painful to let go of the things that God told me to let go but He told me that I ought to just trust Him. And that I did. Letting of my dreams and letting God control that area of my life was like difficult but I had to do it.
But the most heartbreaking thing that happened to me this year was people leaving me because of me. It didn’t only happen once but it happened many times this year. It was painful hearing how I caused those people to leave. It was like I was slapped in the face many times but my face is not getting numb. My relationships with some people got broken and it was because of me.
But experiencing these things helped me value more my time with people, made me realize how much I need to be intentional and to take care of my relationship with them. With God’s help I promise to be a better friend, leader, sister and daughter.
2016 was a year of many things. I am grateful for the 2016 that God gave inspite of all the slaps in the faces I had. I am ready for 2017 and I am looking forward to what God has in store for me. Happy New Year everyone!